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Caerphilly couple Alun and Kelly Selway have been fostering children for six years, and opened-up about the experience which has left them in “happy land”.
Kelly was just 29 when she first became a foster carer, and has since welcomed dozens of children into her home, who have lived alongside two children of her own.
Kelly described her parents, who are also foster carers, as “inspiring”. She continued: “It was always something that I thought maybe we’d be good at that. But I think the turning point for us was when we moved house, and we had an extra bedroom and it just kind of made sense.”
Kelly’s children were ten and four at the time of approval, so their preference was to foster children of similar age to them.
“We wanted to blend the ages in, and we didn’t want to start again with a baby because we didn’t think that that would kind of fit into our children’s type of routines and lives.”
Kelly said that fostering taught her that she has to be calm and understanding and be able to quickly see things from different perspectives.
“It’s taught me that you’ve got to be organized because you’ve got things like family time, school meetings, dentists. Sometimes you need to be able to think on your feet.
“Occasionally, you’ve got to be the comfort blanket when they want to cry. Sometimes you’ve got to be, and I don’t mean this literally, the punching bag.
“If they want to verbally get their anger out, you’ve got to take it and be able to just keep calm and just step away. I learned it works to step away and come back to the situation a bit later once they’ve calmed down.
“Fostering has taught me a lot of lessons on how to communicate and listen because a lot of people are quick to jump in and give advice. You need to be able to listen first before you can advise.
“I definitely think fostering has changed me and I think that’s not for the worst, I think it’s for the best. I think it’s made me a better person. Kelly six years ago and Kelly now are two different people.”
Asked about her plans for the future, Kelly without a doubt said she won’t quit fostering. She feels so devoted to helping young people in Caerphilly that she can see herself fostering until she retires.
“I want to do this until I retire. Fostering gives me energy and motivation in life. Some people like to complain and be negative about some things in fostering, and I say, ‘leave me in my happy land’, I love it’.”
If you’d like more information on fostering in Caerphilly, you can visit Foster Wales’ website or contact 0800 587 5664.
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